Gender Non-Binary

Today I opened a “Can” of corn and much to my surprise, the “Can” was filled with peas. Did this poor “Can” spend its whole production existence living among the corn and feel completely out of place simply because it was wrapped with an incorrect label. Labeled as corn then shipped with corn, placed on the shelf with the corn. These poor peas how did they manage. Now they are open for consumption and they have disappointed the buyer and the family who was expecting corn for dinner. The buyer is just as confused as they were assuming since the can was labeled corn that was indeed what was inside. Now the buyer has to decide whether they should change my meal or discard the peas. 

The buyer ponders what is the right thing to do in this situation. Settling on changing the meal the announcement is made, “My loves, we will be having peas instead of corn. I know it’s not what we planned but we’ll roll with it.” The label may have been incorrect but you will still receive the same results from what was inside. If only life could be this simple when your family announces they have been wrapped in the wrong label. 

Let me tell you life has a way of always reminding you there is one more hurdle you have yet to face. Just when you find your little “comfy” place POW, right in the kisser.

I’ve always been a person of Respect. Whatever lifestyle, sexual preference, work field, etc. a person chooses is strictly up to them.  Yet, there will come a time when your household is introduced to elements they are uncomfortable with and you find yourself in a very precarious position. A person’s respect and views aren’t inherited and often there’s a situation where one may need to figure out how to educate others. If not completed at least to a point of understanding that the what, where, or why isn’t important you just need to RESPECT what is asked of you.

Recently our household was introduced to the Non – Binary gender. For a few this was a very hard pill to swallow, for some it was business as usual. Since this is not a common topic in most, if any, households, let’s just say things got a little heated and as the common denominator I was caught between a rock and a hard place. How do I respect all parties involved without offending or further upsetting anyone? So I took to the internet and did some research. Maybe if I could give a few points of reference a better understanding could be obtained. Let’s just be honest most people that are opposed to some circumstances in life are so due to lack of a clear picture or the presence of an unknown factor thus challenging their sense of “Norm”.

My first search landed me on a great article about the different genders. I know in school you were taught there are only 2 sexes, male and female. Would you be surprised if I tell you for the most part they say there are 3 primary genders; male, female, and intersex.

Ok, finding this helped but confusion was still lingering about other things. Like Gender identity and Non- Binary. I pressed on……

Gender identity

Describes a person’s self-perceived gender, which could be male, female, or otherwise.

According to Psychology Today: All humans are born with biological characteristics of sex, either male, female, or intersex. It goes on to further explain that Gender, however, is a social construct and generally based on the norms, behaviors, and societal roles expected of individuals based primarily on their sex. 

What Is the Gender Binary?

The gender binary is the problematic notion that there are only two genders, and all individuals are either a woman or a man. Some might argue that there are only two sexes, so there should only be two genders, but that argument is flawed.

Although we categorize most infants as male or female, there is more diversity than that in terms of sex. The biology of sex is complex. Most people are XX or XY, but some people are XXY or XO.

In addition, your chromosomes don’t fully determine your sexual anatomy. Some people have XY chromosomes and are born with uteruses. The term for people who have a mix of hormonal and anatomical traits typically associated with male or female bodies is intersex. Someone can be intersex, but a person is not “an intersex. Cultures around the world have recognized genders other than women and men throughout history.⁵ It’s just that we are now developing an English language vocabulary to describe the spectrum of gender identity that exists.

What does it mean to be binary

The Article concludes as follows:
While far from being completely all-inclusive, this list goes to show that non-binary concepts of gender are not a recent phenomenon. It’s important to illustrate that binary gender is not ‘normal’, but rather, one perception out of many. In fact, in comparison, the concept of gender and sexual binary is fairly recent, and not the other way around. Colonization largely is to blame for that idea.

Labels and classifications should be used for products and as my opening paragraph shows, even they are subject to be incorrect. Reflecting on the article’s conclusion about “One’s Perception” (a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression), just because you perceive something to be a certain way doesn’t make it true.  Love, Respect, and Understanding are what we need to practice. When you are raised in a society where you are constantly expected to only see in black and white with ALL things, facing elements outside of the “NORM” can and will cause conflict. Try to keep in mind there are several shades of grey in between those 2 colors and learn to be patient. Rome wasn’t built in one night but it is a beautiful place with awesome sites to see. Be strong and remember that most battles are caused by a lack of communication. Once the “Can” has been opened you can either change the meal or decide you don’t want peas. Just remember everyone can have a little confusion and misunderstandings will exist but inside of that “Can”  is still the one you shared countless memories with, the one you lifted up in times of need and praise. That label doesn’t define the person inside, their heart, actions, and unconditional love are what you need to always consider, not the “Corn” label outside with the actual “Peas” inside.  

I hope this can settle the minds and hearts of anyone struggling to understand similar circumstances. Please research for yourself and don’t generalize an individual on “one’s Perception.”

Other references you can read:

• Three Gender Myths Almost Everyone Believes–But Shouldn’t | Psychology Today
• List of languages by type of grammatical genders – Wikipedia
• Sex, Gender, and Sexuality: It’s Complicated | Science-Based Medicine (sciencebasedmedicine.org)
• Types of gender identity: Types and definitions (medicalnewstoday.com)